The King and I-Rehearsal Bloopers
by Hanbaba
Summary: I'm currently doing a performance of 'The King and I' and this is a story of some of the bloopers made during rehearsals. Enjoy! Rated T for some very inappropriate things (That may or may not be my fault...)
1. Chapter 1

**_The King and I Rehearsal Bloopers_**

_A/N: For privacy reasons, I will be calling everyone except me by their character name or their job (Dir, stage manager, costume designer etc). If I don't know their character name or they don't have one, I will call them Man 1, Wife 9 etc..._

**Doors**  
**Dir:** and move off stage right...and action!  
**Lun ta:** Sir, there isn't a door in that part of the set  
**Dir:** Improvize!  
_*just before the King's exit*_  
**King:** _*walks to the edge of the set. He stops and looks at Lun Ta_* Lun ta, build me a door!  
**Whole cast:** _*dies of laughter*_

**Getting Kids**  
**Wife 7:** Aw! I get a son  
**Son 7:** Mama!  
**Wife 7:** Sonny!  
_*They do a slow running thing in the middle of rehearsal*_  
**Everyone:** ...

**Extra Lines**  
**Dir:** _*talking to ensemble wives* _So, I'm offering extra lines to you guys...  
**Wives: **_*Lean in closer*_  
**Wife 2:** Yeah, this is how you get everyone to pay attention...

**Kissing**  
**Tuptim:** Everyone out!  
**Wife 9:** but Tuptim!  
**Me:** Come on!  
**Tuptim:** PUT YOUR CAMERA AWAY HANNA!  
**Me:** _*putting away my iPod camera* _Aw...

**Chocolate  
Random kid with chocolate:** I have chocolate!  
_*whole cast attacks him*_  
**Man 3:** And this, children, is why you should never bring chocolate near theatre people.

**Sitting**  
**Phak:** Hey girls _*tries to be cute when he sits down but instead he falls off his chair*  
_**Wives:** _*Laughs*_

**Did you?**  
**Wife 4:** So, the King 'did' all of us?  
**King:** Yeah...  
**Anna:** You go around pretty well then.  
**Me:** _(bluntly to Anna and the King) _So, do you guys do it.  
_*Whole room goes silent*_  
**Me:** What?

**Bowing**  
_*Wives and children bow to the King*  
*Wife 5 pauses and just walks away*_  
**King:** BOW DOWN TO YOUR KING!

**Measurements  
Every. Single. Girl: **I hate getting measurement done!  
**Costume Designer:** If I had a dollar for every girl that said that today...

**Loving Husband?**  
**Phak:** I'll get you  
**Me:** You can't attack me! My husband is right there!  
**King:** Yeah, don't mess with Wife 1 of 16!  
**Me:** Gee, thanks...  
_(Note: I really am wife 1! It says so in my script!)  
_  
**Costumes**  
**Wife 4:** So, do we get hoop skirts?  
**Costume designer:** Is that all that matters?  
**Wife 4:** Pretty much

**Ad**  
**Thaing:** Sir, you were in an ad?!  
**Dir:** Oh here we go again  
_(The director really was in an ad! We watched it on my phone during rehearsal)_

**Snow**  
**Dir: **_*To the king*_ at this point, you're completely absorbed by the image your first sighting of snow. Can you do that?  
**King: **Um...  
**Dir: **You've never seen snow, have you?  
**King: **Sorry...  
**Dir: **Get this guy a ticket to Canada! See you in a week!

**Dance**  
**Dir:** Can any of the wives dance?  
**Wife 12:** _*under her breath*_ We're actors and singers. Not dancers

**Food**  
**Wife 7:** I am so bringing cookies for the all-day rehearsal  
**King:** I'll be driving down to maccas  
**Me:** I call shotgun!  
**King:** Nah Hanna, you get the boot  
**Me:** Do the musical they said...you won't get thrown in the boot they said...  
_(Please note: it was a joke. The King would never really throw me or anyone in the boot. And he says hi to all my readers)_

**The End?**  
**Wife 5:** Can we go now?  
**Dir:** we still have a minute!  
**Wife 5:** Oh come on...


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Hey! Sorry, but this is the last of the bloopers! The show is now over, and I forgot to get a few of them! If I can remember any, I will put them together in a new chapter! So this may not be goodbye! Anyway, onto our misfit rehearsals and shows!_

* * *

**Now what?  
**_*Doing acting warm ups*_  
**Dir:** If you feel stupid, you're doing it right  
**King:** I feel stupid all the time, so now what?

**Cookies  
**I made homemade cookies for rehearsal to share at lunch. I went to 7-11 with some of the others while I trusted the King with them. This is what happened when I got back.  
**King:** Hanna! Here's your cookies  
_*I open the box and there's one left*  
_**Me:** Gee, thanks...

**I get bored  
Thaing:** So, how many kids do you have?  
**King:** About 68 in Act I and 73 with 3 on the way in Act II  
**Me:** What's with all the kids?  
**King:** I get bored and DVDs haven't been invented yet.  
**Thaing:** KING!  
**King:** What? And birth control hasn't been invented yet either  
**Everyone:** _*Scarred for life*_

**Microphone Mayhem  
**_*During the tech run, Anna has just come off the stage*  
_**Stage** Manger: Anna?  
**Anna:** _*while her mic is still on_* Yeah?  
**Whole crew:** _*Laughs*_

**Sound Check  
Sound Guy:** _*Into his mic*_ 1, 2, 1, 2...  
**King:** Yeah. 3's the next number if you're having trouble

**Mic check  
Mic Guy:** Sing a song, any song  
**Karlahome:** *Doing a crazy dance at the same time* Well you can tell by the way I do my walk I'm a...  
**Mic Guy**: Next!  
**Anna:** Let him finish! That was entertaining!

**Vocal Warm-ups  
Vocal coach:** So do we all know the rhyme 1, 121?  
**Whole Cast:** *Groans*

**Jam Sessions  
**_*Before the show every night, we'd play music and sing along to all the songs*  
_**Anna:** Can someone put on something decent?  
**Wife 3:** *Puts on Bohemian Rhapsody*  
**Whole cast and crew:** *Stops everything they're doing*  
**Whole cast and crew:** *Belts their lungs out*

**Western People Funny (1)  
**_*Anna hasn't come on stage yet after 'Western People Funny' so we improvised*_  
**Tuptim:** Should we practise our bows for Mrs Anna?  
**Thaing:** _(Going along with it)_ Oh yes, let's try it.  
_*Anna appears*_  
**Me:**_ (Thinking)_ Thank god...

**Leather Shoes  
Wife 2:** *Takes shoe off*  
**Wife 2:** *Tries to put shoe back on while dancing*  
**Me:** Tries not to laugh

**Shoes**  
**King:** But, first, we pray to Buddha. Bow to him  
_*All wives go downstage, everyone's shoes fall off, except mine, because I'm in character shoes*_  
_(Once Act I is over)_  
**Wife 3:** Hanna, you were smart getting character shoes  
**Me:** Why?  
**Wife 3:** Because they don't fall off in that scene!

**Dating  
**_*The King and myself were talking in the make-up room*_  
**Sir Edward:** So, are you two gonna start dating?  
**Me:** Excuse me?!  
**King:** We're married. With a kid. God Ed. Get your facts right!  
**Me:** _*Dies laughing*_

**Make-up**

_*Our producer comes out in full stage make up to greet us before the first show*_  
**Man 2:** _*Wolf whistles*_  
**Whole Cast:**_ *Dies laughing*_

**Cell Block Tango  
**_*Cell Block Tango comes on in the make-up room*  
_**Me:** Pop  
**Tuptim:** Six  
**Thaing:** Squish  
**Wife 6:** Uh-uh  
**Anna:** Cicero  
**Wife 7:** Lipshiz  
**All:** _*Sings the whole song, including the monologues, word perfect*_  
**King:** I have awful wives…

**Shadows  
**_*Backstage, we could see the shadows of Tuptim and Lun Ta kissing*_  
**King:** There they go!  
_*We see the shadow of them kissing*_  
**Everyone backstage:** Awww…..

**Life back  
**_*After the last show*_  
**Wife 2:** I'VE GOT MY LIFE BACK  
**Wife 2:** So now what?


End file.
